My Children Want a Puppy

Once again, my children brought up the subject of keeping a puppy. I discouraged them by saying, "They're smelly." Alyssa said, "I know. We will clean it. You will grow to like the puppy. My friend said so."

Of course I'm aware of that. I used to have a pekinese as a pet. Initially, I wasn't keen but grew to love Susie. My father, siblings and I (were in our young adulthood) were busy with our work / studies etc, but we did our best to take care of Susie. We brought Susie along to many places, including shopping centres, parks, Mc Donald's (they used to allow pets in). But still my brother, Terence, felt that we had not done enough for Susie. I could tell Terencfe was (and still is) a dog lover. When Susie fell sick, my brother, Terence, gave me 2 fifty dollar notes without hesitation and told met to bring her to the vet. He had to rush to work. Once, he took some meat from the kitchen to feed a stray dog nearby our flat. "The poor fellow was howling away," he told me. On another occassion, while driving, he spotted an abandoned dog on the opposite side of the road. He then made a U-turn intending to pick it up. He was dissappointed when he couldn't locate it. When Susie passed on, he was the one who sent it to Mt Pleansant to be cremated. He didn't allow me and my sis to follow because he felt we were too distraught by the loss and would cause a scene in public.

I feel that neither I nor my children are ready to keep a puppy, nor any other pets. "It is a heavy responsibility and I don't think we have time for a puppy," I explained to them. We will discuss again some other time. They keep their hopes high.

Terence has daughters who are dog lovers like him. However, my sister-in-law has an adversion to dogs. So they have to give up the idea (completely, I think).

Blessed With Great Colleagues

Feeling rather unmotivated at work. But have to carry on. I have to count my blessings that I have a job and some very wonderful colleagues who has helped made things easier. There is a couple of them who would do assignments without complaints, another who would go all out like a bull dozer, and yet another who would should extra workload, and the one I must mention is the guy who help prepare some important charts before he goes on overseas leave.

So I must count my blessings and get going!

Mission accomplished

Just completed a less than 5 km jog at a faster than my usual snail pace. Feeling great. Met the same colleague I mentioned earlier along the way. He was going out with his family. That was a major motivation for me to complete the run faster.

Hope to keep the momentum.

Jogging and weight loss

Met a colleague while taking a bus home earlier. He told me that he would believe it if I told him that I've been jogging regularly because he could see the difference in me. So I was so inspired that I planned to go for a slow, long jog this evening. But alas! It's been raining since. Looks like I've to skip the session. Loss opportunity to burn 300 cal ;(

My target weight is 55 kg. Current weight is 58 ++ kg. Not sure how long it'll take me.

But there again, there are others who noticed my weight loss and thought I looked haggard and stressed out. Who cares! I just want to lower my BMI.

Oops. Rain has stopped. Looks like there's no excuse.

Cracked Mirrors

Earlier, I had posted about "mirrors". The quality of the reflection is dependent on the quality of the interaction with these "mirrors". When we look into these "mirrors", we may make some adjustment to ourselves (e.g. improve the way we respond to others), or remain status quo. Sometimes our "mirrors" have cracked and we are not able to accept the image reflected by these "mirrors". That has to do with the deterioration of our interaction with them.

Piggy Bank

See this piggy bank on the right? It has been with since I was about 9 yrs old. It was a gift from my elder sister when I was sent away to live with my grandmother. Children those days were often made to run errands. I was no exception. Sometimes I would be lucky enough to be rewarded with 10 cents for the effort, and I would slot it into this piggy bank. I had never managed to fill the piggy bank to the brim. I would dig the coins out and gave to my granny whenever I felt she needed it.

Songs That Would Make One Shed Tears

I skipped jogging today so that I have time to help my kids with their school work. Hopefully I can make up for it tomorrow.

I was once asked whether I had come across songs that cause me to shed tears - e.g. those that remind one of broken relationships. No. But there's one song - "Hello" by Lionel Richie - that makes my heart ache. I was still doing my studies and it was my favourite song then. I used to hum the song to my little niece (she had a heart ailment) whenever she was on the bottle. She became very attached to me after a few weeks.That was about the time I managed to spend with her because she lived in M'sia. She passed away within the same year. If she had lived, she would be 25 yrs old.

Mirrors

"Mirror, mirror on the wall! Who is the prettiest...."
We luv mirrors. I hav "magic mirrors" - frens, family, etc - they reflect my inner-self. Open ur <3 and u'll find ur "magic mirrors".

.....

Just wasted some hours playing bejewelled blitz on facebook. Shouldn't have started it at all.

Thank god I'd managed to do some ex even after a tiring day shuttling between wsps, tm and Holy Trinity. Alyssa had her piano test 2day and according to her, she had done well. I have faith in her.

Hobbies

It is now 2 am and I'm not able to sleep. There's a unsettling feeling inside of me. I tried meditating and prayer but were of little help. I am unable to articulate what's bothering me. Perhaps I'm aware but I do not wish to confront it. I'll just spend my time surfing the net till I'm tired.

We broached the subject on hobbies at work recently. I commented that the term hobbies had got no meaning to me for the time being as much of my time outside work has been devoted to my children (especially the younger one). I'll be glad to find time to exercise. Isn't exercising a hobby? Not so sure. Maybe it is a necessity.

Lines in Nature

*Yawn* I had to wake up early this morning (9am is early considering today is a Sunday) to go to Aquaria Park to pick up leaves of various shapes and sizes. They are meant for Alyssa's assignment "Lines in Nature". While I was at the park picking up the leaves, Alyssa was enjoying her breakfast of "bacon and eggs" and Alexus was still snoring away. The project is done!

Alyssa Loves Ballet

Alyssa will be taking her grade 2 exams on 30 March 2010. It is a weekday. So she's gonna miss school for a day, just like her previous exams. She claims ballet is her favourite activity (I think it's for now). I've been shuttling between work, home, Tampines Mall, Loyang point for the past few months in order to get her to attend her coaching class on time. It's tiring, but I enjoy it because it makes her happy. She wouldn't want to miss any lesson.

Sharing

My daughter had observed that I've been buying and reading mainly self-improvement and self-help book. "Why? Mummy." I explained that I want to be a better person. Here is a writing I extracted from a book by Guy Finley. It is intended to help shed light on the real source of unrest in our relationships:

The less we learn to long for - or depend upon -

Special understanding from others,

The less we will suffer for not receiving this.

The less we suffer over what others

Seem inapable of giving to us,

The less unhappy will we find ourselves

In these unanswered moments of our lives

Spent in the company of friends and foes alike.

The less pain we have over what live appears to deny us,

The more at peace we naturally become with ourselves.

The things I am thankful about today:

Spent time with my beautiful little Alyssa;
Handsome Alexus is home finally;
Mushrooms and Lotus soup cooked by father;
Completed my 5 km run (at snail pace though) =)

We are born to be self-correcting

What I often encounter at work are :
People who are often nervouse and anxious because events that happened may not have cooperated with their plans;
People who are willing to sacrifice whatever it takes to get what they want, and this may include their integrity;
People who are scheming in some ways to win their next victory;
People who are either in a battle or recovering from one;
People who are unable to rest quietly;
People who are forever driven to want something.
I must admit sometimes, I become one of these people, usually (ahem) to a very small extent. We are born to be self-correcting and and we must constantly remind ourselves to be aware of these pitfalls.

Once Upon a Time

Once upon a time, I had often considered my childhood to be full of bitterness. I used to bury myself in self-pity. But what a waste of time! Where do my problems really rank when compared to the ills of the world?