Disequilibrium

I normally tend to believe my lvl of self awareness is pretty gd and do not attempt more than I could handle. However, unexpected event had caused disequilibrium to my life - forget to pay bills, did not supervise my children closely, forget children's exam dates - so did not nag at them. Just gone to Loyang Point to pay my bills - realised the medical insurance payment notice not with me!!! I'm so angry with myself!!! Feel like killing myself.